The CSOM experience
The Carlson School of Management has been know for many things: hot guys, snobby girls, world domination, and all the other things The Daily likes to write about the school. But at the school there are a few nuances that I have noticed and would now like to share with outsiders hoping to get a glimpse of the "privileged life."
The Male Population
There is this wide-held belief that Carlson guys are some how better looking than the average UofM male. A friend of mine always comments about how good-looking all these men are. This is myth number one: Carlson men are better looking that the average University male. Carlson men are known to dress in button-down shirts, nice jeans or pants, and nice shoes. The also have the tendency to comb their hair, get nice neat hair cuts, and carry around expensive looking accessories. However, all these adornments do not make the CSOM male better looking than the rest of the U. If you were to strip the Carlson man of his J.Crew wardrobe and salon cut, you would have another average-looking Joe. In fact, I would go so far as to say that CSOM men are LESS attractive than the average U population; afterall, to get into CSOM you had to have been studious during high school, and often times studious=nerd.
However, this is good proof that the way you dress can make you look better/worse than you actually are.
The Dating Scene
Myth Number 2 is that many people believe CSOM students interdate. This is also false. The majority of the CSOM population does not and will not date each other; and if dating should occur, these are short-lived flings, not long lasting relationships. Now myth number 2 only holds true during the college years and I can neither confirm nor deny what happens after graduation.
Now you may ask, why do Carlson students NOT interdate? It would seem to make sense that proximity would draw attraction, and from myth 1 we have already established that CSOM men are very attractive. So why are there no shenanigans happening within CSOM? The answer is simple:
1. CSOM students do not interact with each other until the 2nd half of sophomore year. Therefore, freshmen CSOM dating is more about probabilities than anything else.
2. By the time the typical CSOM student reaches the halls of Carlson, they have already been brainwashed into thinking that they need to be the best and greatest and whatever it is they are doing. Often times this takes the form of extra-curricula’s (which is practically a CSOM mandate), leadership, and anything else that would look good on a resume.
3. Obviously not everyone can be the best at everything, so a subtle sub current form of competition begins to take place. On the surface this seems all innocent and sweet; however, competition tends to bring out a crucial factor that leads to the lack of interdating. Girls are competing with guys for the same prizes: internships, leadership positions, etc; however, the winners of these competitions are split 50-50; meaning girls win half the time and boys win the other half. And if there is one thing a CSOMer man hates more than anything else is to date someone better than himself, thus putting half the CSOM female population out of reach. So what about the other half? Well, another thing a CSOM man hates is a girl with no potential, and these girls because of their lack of drive have given off the no potential vibe. This puts the average CSOM female in a precarious situation. She must walk the fine line of being too driven and not driven enough.
4. However, the average CSOM female does not want the CSOM male either. By the time sophomore year approaches, a few things have been hammered into the female’s mind: study abroad, internship, leadership, drive. Meaning: the average CSOM female is too driven to be bothered with the CSOM male whom she views as competition. And if you view someone as competition, you usually harbor no loving feelings of attraction to the other party.
5. Finally, the average CSOM student by junior year will have class with the same people over and over and over again, narrowing the pool of likely applicants even further.
Now the dating situation in CSOM is not something for people to feel sad about. In fact, we kind of like it this way. There is nothing less attractive than 2 ridiculously uptight people, one is more than enough.
The Female Population
Myth number three is that CSOM girls are stuck up and too focused on themselves to bother with others. Unfortunately this myth has a little bit of truth to it. The average female CSOM junior is focused on only one thing: getting the best job or internship she can. However, this phase only lasts for about 2-3 months (the length of most company’s recruiting time frame) and after she has secured her position in the world, she is once again free to pursue other options. The point is: CSOM females are not stuck up, they just dress to impress and are very focused on whatever goal is ahead of them. However, the CSOM female is focused on business during the prime lock-in your man time (think of it as steps people take to lock-in an interest rate for their house); making many of them single during senior year and the time leading up to graduation. However, this time of singleness is short-lived as most go into a committed relationship once they have started their full-time position and are married shortly after. (Like I said before, CSOMers are very focused, even when it comes to securing a relationship.)
Life after School
The final myth is that CSOMers have no fun after school. This is the biggest myth of all. The truth is we have more fun after college than most others and have jobs that require very little work out of us. Think of your typical engineers and then go into the finance department and compare their workload with one another. The truth is, we pay our dues during school (and when I say dues I am talking about the political and social dues that we pay to get to the position we are at) but once we have secured our prize, we revel in the glory of our win better than any other school.
I hope I have brought insight to you on the inner workings of Carlson. I am off now to get my picture taken for our senior yearbook and to enjoy some free pizza.
The Male Population
There is this wide-held belief that Carlson guys are some how better looking than the average UofM male. A friend of mine always comments about how good-looking all these men are. This is myth number one: Carlson men are better looking that the average University male. Carlson men are known to dress in button-down shirts, nice jeans or pants, and nice shoes. The also have the tendency to comb their hair, get nice neat hair cuts, and carry around expensive looking accessories. However, all these adornments do not make the CSOM male better looking than the rest of the U. If you were to strip the Carlson man of his J.Crew wardrobe and salon cut, you would have another average-looking Joe. In fact, I would go so far as to say that CSOM men are LESS attractive than the average U population; afterall, to get into CSOM you had to have been studious during high school, and often times studious=nerd.
However, this is good proof that the way you dress can make you look better/worse than you actually are.
The Dating Scene
Myth Number 2 is that many people believe CSOM students interdate. This is also false. The majority of the CSOM population does not and will not date each other; and if dating should occur, these are short-lived flings, not long lasting relationships. Now myth number 2 only holds true during the college years and I can neither confirm nor deny what happens after graduation.
Now you may ask, why do Carlson students NOT interdate? It would seem to make sense that proximity would draw attraction, and from myth 1 we have already established that CSOM men are very attractive. So why are there no shenanigans happening within CSOM? The answer is simple:
1. CSOM students do not interact with each other until the 2nd half of sophomore year. Therefore, freshmen CSOM dating is more about probabilities than anything else.
2. By the time the typical CSOM student reaches the halls of Carlson, they have already been brainwashed into thinking that they need to be the best and greatest and whatever it is they are doing. Often times this takes the form of extra-curricula’s (which is practically a CSOM mandate), leadership, and anything else that would look good on a resume.
3. Obviously not everyone can be the best at everything, so a subtle sub current form of competition begins to take place. On the surface this seems all innocent and sweet; however, competition tends to bring out a crucial factor that leads to the lack of interdating. Girls are competing with guys for the same prizes: internships, leadership positions, etc; however, the winners of these competitions are split 50-50; meaning girls win half the time and boys win the other half. And if there is one thing a CSOMer man hates more than anything else is to date someone better than himself, thus putting half the CSOM female population out of reach. So what about the other half? Well, another thing a CSOM man hates is a girl with no potential, and these girls because of their lack of drive have given off the no potential vibe. This puts the average CSOM female in a precarious situation. She must walk the fine line of being too driven and not driven enough.
4. However, the average CSOM female does not want the CSOM male either. By the time sophomore year approaches, a few things have been hammered into the female’s mind: study abroad, internship, leadership, drive. Meaning: the average CSOM female is too driven to be bothered with the CSOM male whom she views as competition. And if you view someone as competition, you usually harbor no loving feelings of attraction to the other party.
5. Finally, the average CSOM student by junior year will have class with the same people over and over and over again, narrowing the pool of likely applicants even further.
Now the dating situation in CSOM is not something for people to feel sad about. In fact, we kind of like it this way. There is nothing less attractive than 2 ridiculously uptight people, one is more than enough.
The Female Population
Myth number three is that CSOM girls are stuck up and too focused on themselves to bother with others. Unfortunately this myth has a little bit of truth to it. The average female CSOM junior is focused on only one thing: getting the best job or internship she can. However, this phase only lasts for about 2-3 months (the length of most company’s recruiting time frame) and after she has secured her position in the world, she is once again free to pursue other options. The point is: CSOM females are not stuck up, they just dress to impress and are very focused on whatever goal is ahead of them. However, the CSOM female is focused on business during the prime lock-in your man time (think of it as steps people take to lock-in an interest rate for their house); making many of them single during senior year and the time leading up to graduation. However, this time of singleness is short-lived as most go into a committed relationship once they have started their full-time position and are married shortly after. (Like I said before, CSOMers are very focused, even when it comes to securing a relationship.)
Life after School
The final myth is that CSOMers have no fun after school. This is the biggest myth of all. The truth is we have more fun after college than most others and have jobs that require very little work out of us. Think of your typical engineers and then go into the finance department and compare their workload with one another. The truth is, we pay our dues during school (and when I say dues I am talking about the political and social dues that we pay to get to the position we are at) but once we have secured our prize, we revel in the glory of our win better than any other school.
I hope I have brought insight to you on the inner workings of Carlson. I am off now to get my picture taken for our senior yearbook and to enjoy some free pizza.
posted by chen at 10:20 AM
6 Comments:
your paragraph on intra-CSOM dating made me think of anne of green gables & gilbert blythe. competitors who hated each other and then fell madly in love.
i should read that book again.
Wow - I had no idea that all this went on! We over in CLA just blissfully go through our classes. I personally never got to know any of my teachers or fellow students, and I liked it that way. :)
Of course, that's not saying that the dating pool was any better...
CAn you introduce me to one of these "no potential" girls? I think with my potential and her direction we could make a great team....or with my direction and her potential we would self destruct and take everyone else with us. The latter wouldd probably be more fun. PS, Laura, I deleted the nasty comment that your cousin left on my blog. Tell him to get a life.
Nicole,
Welcome to my blog, I'm glad to see that you have ventured into the blogs of Jordan's friends. Although I have never read or seen Anne of Green Gables, the correlation between her and Gilbert are probably very similar to the relationships in CSOM. Except the difference between them and CSOM is that our intra-dating opportunities are seen more as economical advantages than true love. Perhaps I will read the book too, I've been in a reading mood as of late.
Laura,
The dating pool probably sucks at every college at the U. And sadly I do know all of my teachers, in fact last semester I went to happy hour with one prof and about 10 other students (a rather common occurence)...I love happy hour!
The problem with knowing everyone at school is that college becomes more like high school. (I could probably write a whole other blog entry about this topic.) Just like church and high school, everyone knows your business. They know where you are interviewing, who you are dating, and what classes you are taking; the only difference is that the social ladder is less clear in CSOM than at the typical high school or youth group (and its also more defined by where you interned than by how you look).
Mark,
I would be happy to introduce you to one of our "no potentials" however I must warn you. Even though they have no potential, they still have a secret desire for world domination. What are your plans to rule the world?
Also, I am happy that Laura's cousin is no longer writing nasty messages on your blog, and I say "Mark praises" every where I go.
What the... I never said anything about my cousin writing anything on your blog!!! I simply said that you should erase that one disgusting comment that was spammed on there! Where did you get anything about my cousin???
Ah, I see the confusion - the disgusting message was written by someone with the last name of "Gibson". My last name is "Ibsen". It's kind of close, but not really.
Post a Comment
<< Home