Wow, I'm deep.
I've had a rather interesting weekend, after a week filled with work I pretty much just shlopped my weekend away. I did however learn a few interesting things about myself. The first thing I learned about myself is how much I get discouraged by challenges and oppositions. This Saturday I went to go visit with a missionary couple about possible options for the summer and I just get so overwhelmed at the thought of having to figure out the next four months of my life. Sometimes, like right now, I get so overwhelmed that I really don't even want to go anywhere.
Saturday, I returned to middle school and helped my friend clean her classroom. I don't remember much from middle school but all I know is that those places are really, really dirty. I'm kind of surprised that I made it through those years alive and healthy. Perhaps this is why I no longer get the flu or other horrible diseases, my body has trained itself from years of public education to scorn and scoff at these diseases.
Sunday, I had an interesting conversation with a friend about the issue of forgiveness. To me, forgiveness means letting go of all resentment and bitterness that comes with the reasons that needed the forgiveness. For example, sophmore year I had very selfishly ruined a friendship but towards the end of the year and into next year we were able to talk our problems through and forgive each other. They hold no resentment against me and I hold none against them. I wish things would have worked out differently during our sophmore year, but I love this person today nonetheless, and I know they love me too ;-). Anyways, I was talking to my friend about the matter and they were telling me how they can forgive people but still hold resentment or be bitter against them. I found that to be a rather strange idea. I think the whole point of forgiveness, and what makes it so difficult, is that after you tell someone you forgive them you no longer let those things count against them. Your relationship with the person may have suffered from the tresspasses but your feelings for the person should no longer be hostile or bitter. I'm one of those people where alot of things bother me, but I forgive and forget them about a week after it happens and I just assume most people are like that too. Maybe this is why I like people so much, even if they were to tick me off or annoy me, I forget about those quirks a couple days later and am like, "yeah, we can hang out."
Saturday, I returned to middle school and helped my friend clean her classroom. I don't remember much from middle school but all I know is that those places are really, really dirty. I'm kind of surprised that I made it through those years alive and healthy. Perhaps this is why I no longer get the flu or other horrible diseases, my body has trained itself from years of public education to scorn and scoff at these diseases.
Sunday, I had an interesting conversation with a friend about the issue of forgiveness. To me, forgiveness means letting go of all resentment and bitterness that comes with the reasons that needed the forgiveness. For example, sophmore year I had very selfishly ruined a friendship but towards the end of the year and into next year we were able to talk our problems through and forgive each other. They hold no resentment against me and I hold none against them. I wish things would have worked out differently during our sophmore year, but I love this person today nonetheless, and I know they love me too ;-). Anyways, I was talking to my friend about the matter and they were telling me how they can forgive people but still hold resentment or be bitter against them. I found that to be a rather strange idea. I think the whole point of forgiveness, and what makes it so difficult, is that after you tell someone you forgive them you no longer let those things count against them. Your relationship with the person may have suffered from the tresspasses but your feelings for the person should no longer be hostile or bitter. I'm one of those people where alot of things bother me, but I forgive and forget them about a week after it happens and I just assume most people are like that too. Maybe this is why I like people so much, even if they were to tick me off or annoy me, I forget about those quirks a couple days later and am like, "yeah, we can hang out."
posted by chen at 7:12 AM
1 Comments:
I think its a little of both (I know - here I go "middle of the road" again).
I think that we are called to forgive people. Its a loving act that is foreign to us, and often goes against what we feel to be justice. However, we can forgive because we know that we have been forgiven a debt much greater than we could ever be owed.
Since the act of forgiveness often goes against what we feel, and often we have been hurt by the other party, we tend to hold onto a lot of bitterness and resentment. Its only human.
But, even though we may feel that, we can act in a way toward the person we are forgiving that demonstrates love. We can act towards them and show them that they are forgiven. Then, in time, we can hopefully begin to feel that way too.
Its great that you can feel that way right away. I think that it is a way of understanding that grows with time and practice. But, I think there is much to be said for acting as you should to honor God, even though your emotions might not be fully aligned yet. I think its the right thing to do.
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